Remay, Agnes Veronica

Agnes Veronica Remay

02/10/1926 ~ 13/02/2022

Beloved daughter of Rudolph and Elizabeth Litvan.

Sister of Rudi and Christine.

Much loved wife of Tibor.

Mother of Laszlo (Laci), Vilmos (Vili) and Agnes (Agika).

Grandmother and Great-grandmother.

Requiem Mass for the Repose of the Soul of Agnes Veronica Remay will be held

at Our Lady of Lourdes Armadale, 631 High St, Prahran

on Friday 4th March 2022, at 10am.

Following the service refreshments will be served.

Private Family Burial




Agnes Veronica Remay

2/10/1926 to 13/02/2022

95 years 4 months 11 days

Born Budapest, Hungary. Died Brighton, Australia.

An extraordinary child who lived in a war zone throughout her life in Europe: the ‘fallout’ of carnage and despair due to World War I; the impacts of WWII; and the Hungarian Uprising. War looked to be completely over in a free country, but then in the final years of this tremendous life, another series of ‘wars’ would claim her life.

Born eight years after WW1 and thirteen years before WWII my Mother was constantly traumatised by war. Her primary school years were spent in Budapest and later she was educated at Charters Towers College in London, England. Evident to all who knew Agnes was her astute intelligence. Almost immediately after disembarking the Fairsea from Genoa in Italy and arriving in Port Melbourne, my Mother a gifted trilinguist, easily secured her first job at Bonegilla Migrant Camp. There she worked as a Translator/Interpreter in the office; she assisted new settlers like herself with their visas and provided a referral service. Her first glowing work reference for services provided to immigrants would come from The Australian Government.

It was however not my Mother’s quickness of mind that was her most edifying attribute, but her striking appearance. Even as a child her beauty was remarkable and at four years of age a statue was erected in her honour at Margit Sziget in Budapest. Her vibrant curly red hair that was styled to perfection and smiling light green eyes would ignite almost every conversation.

In tumultuous war times she would be the love interest of many. She was married at a young age, unsuccessfully. And after rehoming her sons during the Hungarian Uprising, she would seek refuge for herself and them in Australia.

In March 1957 she met the most stable influence of her life. With Tibor Gyula Remay an elite sportsman, who missed playing basketball in The Melbourne Olympic Games of 1956 due to this fractious period; she would spend the next 65 years. They enjoyed mostly happy times together. It wasn’t always easy for them of course, but they were both earnest in their gratitude to Australia, the new country that warmly welcomed them. Dedicated to a conscientious life, they bought The Flamingo Restaurant in Acland Street, St Kilda and managed it for three years. Always unafraid of new beginnings, they later bought and managed another restaurant in St Kilda named The Beefeater. These were my mother’s hobby jobs. She had a fulltime job with Socomin, a subsidiary of Petersville International for 27 years; not once, not ever, would she take a single day off work. Extraordinary.

My Mother was absolutely stoic; resilient, dedicated and triumphant in just about everything she undertook. My Mother’s hobby job with my Father, her ‘real job’ at Socomin, showed a woman of great talent, but also a woman whose exceptionally busy life meant that she missed the love and affection that a normal family provided. She spent years attempting to bring her sons to Australia and battled with Immigration laws. By the time her sons arrived, it was almost too late to build the family she was desperate to have. They had their own families to look after.

It was not ever in my Mother’s Austro-Hungarian ancestry to be ordinary. She would not suffer fools gladly. Later in life at the age of 62, she completed a Bachelor of Arts (Hons.) at Melbourne University. A Diploma of Education specialising in English As A Second Language and History, prepared my Mother for a life of bliss. She reconnected with her European roots and taught History like no other. She left her role as an Executive and for 10 years she taught in schools, first at Melton Secondary College then for eight years at Keilor Downs Secondary College, where she enjoyed warm friendships with many. In 2000 my Mother continued her love of teaching by working for AAA Tutorials where she is remembered as one of their favourite History Tutors. She maintained her role until 2016.

In all this time, my Mother was a truly dedicated individual. She loved her family very deeply, her husband Tibor especially, their only daughter, who grew up as an only child, her two sons who lived separate lives and their extended families. In 2015 my Mother had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease and had the love and support of her family.

My Mother enjoyed friendships from all over the world. She was a beautiful and devoted friend to Magda Neni, whom she had brought to Australia for holidays. She was also the dedicated friend to her daughter. She would be the source of incredible inspiration and encouragement. Together my parents supported a very talented figure skater whose career in figure skating dramatically ended at age 14, mine. Nonetheless my Mother’s love for the Performing Arts: ballet, theatre, musicals, imparted to her daughter meant I would have a wealth of experience and be left lasting impressions of a rich and dynamic cultural heritage.

To all who knew my Mother, her reconnection with AFL, ‘The Saints’ at her daughter’s encouragement from 2004, brought her great happiness. She loved ‘The Saints’ since the 1960s. Message has it that she’s going to be more abundantly influential YET. In fact, she’s making arrangements already for a Grand Final that ‘The Saints’ can actually win next time they participate in a Grand Final. A delicate affair to be sure, but in the company of Angels and Saints now, she has much good advice.

For me my Mother was not always easy to get along with. I had to be perfect. Perfectly dressed, perfectly groomed, and perfectly mannered. When on holidays be it on the Gold Coast for our Annual Holidays enjoyed by the Remays for 40 years, or at School Holiday Events at The National Gallery of Victoria, The Australian Ballet, Melbourne Theatre, Musicals from Broadway brought for our viewing at The Arts Centre, The Tennis Open, there was an expectation of appreciation and brilliant engagement.

There were problems in my Mother’s outlook, but without any hesitation everyone who knew Agnes saw her as a warm-hearted and generous person. Her unenviable childhood and adolescence; having lived through treacherous war and coming from a broken family in Hungary, was deserving of utmost compassion. Her daughter understood and gave her compassion. Most importantly, coming from brokenness she found wholeness in Tibor and the freedom to love as she believed. My Mother adored life and lived it fully.  Her overseas trips resulted from winning another and another and another holiday thanks to Emma Page, where she sold more party-plan jewellery than anybody in Australia. This meant that her devoted and supportive husband and her daughter would accompany her on some of their best ever holidays including to Fiji where the Remays learnt to speak Fijian.

My Mother’s life was as spectacularly lived as she was spectacular.

The pain of my Mother’s last years, was exacerbated by Alzheimer’s Disease. The grief and loss she carried her entire life was like a reawakened monster that she wrestled with daily in the last 7 years. Yet it is essential to note in the final analysis of my Mother’s life, that she was a remarkably hopeful person, always optimistic. She was a truly dedicated Australian and Catholic. Her Jewish history enabled her a wealth of understandings as well as concomitant pain. My Mother was a philosopher and a humanitarian with a passion for progress.

Agnes Veronica Remay (nee Litvan) read The Herald Sun more avidly than the Bible. Her introduction to this news source commenced in the 1950s when as one of her first jobs as a Barmaid at The Duke of Wellington; steps away from The Herald Sun building in Flinders Street, she would regularly meet and chat with Journos, as well as serve them alcoholic beverages. She was generously rewarded with lots and lots and lots of tips. This meant not a day went by without a copy of The Herald Sun.

From Heaven today I’m sure my Mother knows there’s another wish besides who should win the 2022 AFL Grand Final. There’s a wish that might soon be realised for that recent journalism graduate, her daughter, that this Obituary written about a dedicated life might strike a chord, or result in pulling a few strings, within the offices of The Herald Sun.

Some reminiscences and considerations about Agnes for Agnes

Gabriel Garcia Marquez is said to have remarked,

‘Our life is not what we have lived but that which we remember, and how we remember it, in order to tell others about it.’

Your mother Agnes Remay was our truly remarkable colleague at Keilor Downs College. She became a highly esteemed, reliable replacement teacher for eight years from the late nineties. Especially amongst us women, Agnes was admired for her tenacity, her knowledge, her courage and poise. We’ve all been retired for quite some time and remain in awe of Agnes having taught with us while well into her seventies.

Merrin ’was really saddened to hear of Agnes’ death cos I’d actually been thinking a bit about her lately, just wondering how old she’d be and how she’s going.’ She goes on, ‘I just remember quizzing her about why she would want to be teaching at her age. I think she was 72 at the time and that seemed just so old to me (seems a bit different now, as I approach a similar age!) Although I don’t remember the specifics of her answer, I do remember being in awe of the energy and enthusiasm that she showed.’

Debbie remembers Agnes as a ‘woman of grace and dignity’, even when not treated well.

Hülya, in charge of staffing at the time, remembers her as a ‘very intelligent, hard-working role model for all females, who came into contact with her.’ Hülya is sorry she cannot attend the funeral, as she is away from Melbourne. She wants her condolences passed on to you.

Lois, also saddened, was jolted by the news of Agnes’ death into reminiscing of our shared times, joys and tribulations at KDC.

Kate remembers Agnes well as an amazing woman and fellow Social Studies and History teacher. Like role model Agnes, Kate bravely continues with some relief teaching in her seventies.

I, Birgit, remember meeting Agnes, when I returned from a secondment in 2000. We took to conversing in German. I still hear Agnes’ voice ‘Es geht alles vorüber…’ (‘Everything will pass …’) when some students had upset her. This exceedingly intelligent, elegant, fierce, deeply committed educator demanded and received respect from students and colleagues alike.

When I took early retirement at 55, Agnes was among my farewell guests. We took opportunities to stay in touch by phone and via Christmas cards, thus keeping each other abreast of our lives and loved ones, occurrences in our respective families and finding assurance that we ourselves kept kicking goals. Sadly, the last communication came from you, dear Agnes junior, when your mum had left her body behind.

‘Es geht alles vorüber, es geht alles vorbei …, ‘Everything passes, everything moves on …’

Love remains, as do new beginnings.


18 Tributes

  1. Vilmos Bajor, Katalin caapanello
    | Reply

    DEAR MUM sadly we have to say goodbye to you, but we remember your long and successful life, and the good times what we spend together, even you lived here a long time but never forget your Hungarian heritage, but in Australia you put your name down in plenty companies what you looked after very well, SO NOW KATI AND I HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE, R I P GOD BLESS YOUR SOUL AMEN

  2. Eva Sandor
    | Reply

    Dear Agi Neni you were a truly amazing lady, and I am grateful for the jobs you helped me secure, I have a lot of fond memories of the years we worked together at Socomin and Lactos, you were a very fair boss with a wicked sense of humor and we enjoyed many laughs and glasses of passion wine.
    I am very sad to say goodbye, rest peacefully in god’s care.
    Love Eva

  3. Suzzen Tatay
    | Reply

    Dear Aunty Agi , now you are free to fly. I thank you being there when I was small .Especially when I ran away from home whilst my own Mum was sleeping. I crossed the busy Dandelong Road and tram tacks at 7 am to come to your place to play with your large Dog on a Sunday morning I was all of 4or 5yrs of age. Later in my life you you would always answer the phone I would hallo you would say how are you my other daughter . This continued for over 55yrs. You were always there for my Late Mother Agnes Tatay and for me . You are now free to play cards and catch up with your love ones that have passed we will here the parties down here. Love you always your (Other Daughter ) Suzzen Tatay ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🐩🐩

  4. eva
    | Reply

    Remembered with Love
    Eva Uglik

  5. Krystyne Pniewski
    | Reply

    To my dear friend of over 35 years. I’m so sad you are no longer here but l was fortunate that we met as students of Criminology and continued to meet regularly ( together with Tibor) for oh ! so many dinners and lunches over the years. Happy times and stimulating conversation ! You were kind, funny, intelligent but always and ever will live in my memory as … a beautiful and graceful Lady. 🌺

  6. Catherine Bodo
    | Reply

    Rest in Peace dear lady. Condolences to family.

  7. Szabo Zsuzsi
    | Reply

    Dearest Agi Neni,

    I will always remember you as my first boss, thank you for giving me a start at Socomin, I loved working there with you and the sales team. I learned so much about life through the diversity of the people who worked there. I have fond memories of my time there.
    You always had an air of Grace about you that was unique. I hope you can look back at your life with a smile. May you Rest In Peace surrounded by Holy Angels dear Lady.
    Love Zsuzsika 🙏🏻

  8. Tibor Naszvadi
    | Reply

    Dear Ági néni!

    We met at the Lake Balaton in Hungary around 1970 when you and Tibi returned home or the first time after the severity of communism eased a bit. You two came home more frequently later and on those occasions, we felt like the family was together again. After my smallest child, Bálint was born, it was touching to see how kind you were with him. I think you had a beautiful life far from your homeland among those people who loved you the most. We say Goodbye sadly! Naszvadi család, Budapest.

  9. David & Margaret Irish
    | Reply


    Agnes and her husband Tibor came to live in our neighborhood during 2016. We called at their home to welcome them and quickly formed a strong friendship. As we got to know them we learnt of their background in Hungary, how they came to Australia and all they achieved here.
    Agnes was well educated, extremely informed on world affairs and an excellent conversationalist. It was also obvious she had a strong Christian faith going back to her early days in Hungary.
    Although due to failing health they moved from our area to live in Care we are grateful for the short time Agnes touched our lives.

  10. Linda Trucchi
    | Reply

    I will always remember how unique and bold a lady Agnes senior was. On occasion when I was a young teenager, Mrs Remay would be driving (I don’t recall where) and I was sitting in the backseat whilst we all listened to music playing on the radio. I remember being mesmerised by her ability to dance with her arm and hands to the music. When I do this myself, I am reminded of her and of her uniqueness. Mrs Remay also kindy gave me an employment position at Socomin in my youth.

  11. Erzsi Holler
    | Reply

    Drága Ági!
    Fájó szívvel búcsúzunk Tőled. Soha nem felejtjük az együtt töltött szép hónapokat. Lelkünkben örökké megmaradsz!
    Holler Erzsi


  12. Kelly Mihai
    | Reply

    I met Agnes at Keilor Downs College -we became friends very quickly and I was in awe of her willingness to teach at such a late stage in her life and then to continue to tutor for many more years. She rang me once and encouraged me (and almost convinced me) to join AAA tutoring -outlining all the benefits of such a role. It was obvious that Agnes loved tutoring but what stood out the most was her love for the students she taught and their willingness to follow her instructions -most of them gaining very high marks in the final years and going on to secure admittance into medicine or law which gave her immense satisfaction. She talked about this often. She loved telling me about her various outings and particularly her favourite restaurant No.8, a place she frequented for many special occasions.I often bumped into her at the theatre and she was always elegantly dressed, always chatty and always embraced me with warmth and genuine affection. I lost her telephone number and address when I retired but often wondered about her and and was deeply saddened by this news. May she rest peacefully.

  13. Nicholas Bene
    | Reply

    Dear Grandma,
    I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to you but by the time I found out you were so ill, your Great Grand Daughter’s and I were struck down with COVID-19 and had to isolate.
    I’m so grateful for all the happy times we spent together, especially your weekly visits to tutor me for English during my last year of High School. I did so well that year that my teacher and co-ordinators thought I had cheated! LOL
    My most favourite memory of you was when Tibi and yourself came over and spent the day Christmas shopping at our local shopping centre with Madison, Sienna and myself. I will always remember how delighted and special we all felt that day with the two of you, doing your best to keep up with a 3 and 7 year old.
    I remember you as a beautiful, graceful, charismatic and intelligent lady who was young at heart… and dressed to match.
    I will forever hold a special place in my heart for you and hope you have now found peace.
    Goodbye Grandma xoxo

  14. Angela Rezes
    | Reply

    It was with much sadness that I learnt of the death of my dear friend Agnes. I have many happy memories of times spent both in Melbourne and in Queensland with Agnes and Tibor and my late husband Bandi. I was always in awe of Agnes’ wealth of knowledge, her brilliant mind and her capacity to work endlessly. I will miss the many deep conversations we had as well as the great fun times. Rest in Peace dear Agnes, and May the Perpetual Light Shine Upon You.
    My sincere condolences to Tibor, Agika, Vili and all the family.

  15. Cynthia Trucchi
    | Reply

    I have many fond memories of Mrs Remay while I was growing up; the sharing of her lovingly prepared, wonderful Hungarian breakfasts on sleepover weekends with my close school friend, your daughter Agnes Junior. My thanks and appreciation for your boundless energy and enthusiasm for life, education, the Arts and culture in general and above all family. Mrs Remay you were always inspiring.

  16. Cynthia
    | Reply

    I have many fond memories of Mrs Remay while I was growing up; the sharing of her lovingly prepared, wonderful Hungarian breakfasts on sleepover weekends with my close school friend, your daughter Agnes Junior. My thanks and appreciation for your boundless energy and enthusiasm for life, education, the Arts and culture in general and above all family. Mrs Remay you were always inspiring.

  17. Elizabeth Babics
    | Reply

    Draga Agi Neni,
    It is with a heavy heart that I have to say Goodbye to you. A Beautiful Lady whom I have known my whole life. You were always so full of life every time I saw you.
    You will be sadly missed by all those who knew you. Oszinte Reszvetem Tibi Bacsi.
    Rest in Peace Agi Neni. In Gods Care.

    Elizabeth (Betty) Babics es csalad

  18. Judith a d Szabol s Hody
    | Reply

    Dear Agi. We share a lots of memories together and remember all the good times. Rest in peace. Organise a good romi party you have most of our partners up there. Thinking of you! Judit and Szabolcs

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